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\”I meant to say NO.\” We’ve all have had the experience where we meant to say no to someone. We knew it was going to be difficult but we were determined this time. Then next thing you know, we’re saying yes. How did that happen? Why did that happen?

Do you notice that the very people you mean to say no to, are the ones who seem to draw the life energy out of you?

It reminds me of buying a car. You know how much the car costs, how much you can spend, and the next thing you know the salesman has worn you down and your energy is totally spent and you’ll say yes to anything just to get out of the dealership.

I don’t mean to pick on car salesmen, there are great ones out there who are very helpful and have your best interests at heart.

There are people who are trained to get their way. They will be persistent and determined to get you to say yes.

I take my car to a local car wash and the man who writes up your ticket is a master at getting people to buy the full works. You know the $35 hand wash, hand wax, air freshner, etc. I actually can’t stand going there because I know each time I’ll have to be really strong and almost harsh to get him to back down. I just want a regular wash and wax. Do you want the $8, the $4 or the $2 wax? Just put the wax on the car and let me out of here!!!

These people are what I call energy suckers and you’re the energy lollipop. What actually goes on?

How Do People Get Your Energy?

People learn, from a young age, how to control other people to get their way. Here are some of the techniques they’ll use:

Manipulation

Acting aloof by puling away in an attempt to have you chase them

Money or gifts

Bullying techniques - verbal, emotional or physical

Hostility

Persistence

Crying or drama of some sort

Acting intellectually superior

How Do They Control You?

Whatever they do to control you, there’s only one reason why it happens.

You allow it.

You allow it because you tell yourself you need something from these particular people. Like love, validation, acceptance, approval, a job, a home, or something as simple as your car washed.

Or you allow it because you don’t want to be seen a certain way - like harsh, uncooperative, unkind, not nice!

Remember, as women we were raised to be good girls, to be sweet and helpful, not to be assertive, not to compete with each other and at all costs not to create conflict.

How To Be Released From Their Control?

So whatever your reason, it will keep you from being firm. So next time you need to say no, look to see what might keep you from no. Then once you understand that reason, instead of trying to get it from an outside source, give yourself the love, validation or acceptance. Or let go of needing to be seen a certain way.

When you give yourself what you need, you take your energy back. Then you will release yourself from their control.

When you connect to an all-loving God (Divine Source) you will be filled with love, light and joy. God is THE energy source.

Everything comes from God (Divine Source.) If you think that your mother, brother, boyfriend, father, boss, teacher, or husband is the source then you can be controlled. If you realize you receive everything you need and want when you connect to God, then you can freely have what you want. No cost. Yes to God, no to human control.

Saying NO to others who want you to do something you don’t want to do, is saying YES to yourself.

The Cost of Not Saying No!

The impact of not saying no to others can be costly to your health, relationships and your spirit.

So the next time your boss asks you to stay late when you have dinner plans, choose yourself and go to dinner. The next time a friend wants you to listen to her sob story, for the 10th time, and it’s your workout night, choose yourself and go workout. The next time your boyfriend or spouse wants you to stay at home and watch TV when you have plans to go to the movies with your girlfriends, choose yourself and go to the movies.

You’ll be training people how to treat you. You’ll be taking care of yourself. You’ll be maintaining balance in your life. You’ll be building strong relationships.

Remember people are not your Source. Of anything. They may look like it, but they’re not. If you get fired for not working late, then you’ll get another job right away. If your friend gets mad and doesn’t want to talk to you, well sounds like you’ll be saving yourself from lots of drama. And if your boyfriend doesn’t like you going to the movies with your girlfriends, get another boyfriend. There are plenty where he came from. God or Divine Source will send you anything you need. Just ask and be open to receiving it.

Choose to take care of yourself. Choose to be firm. Choose to say NO to others. Choose to say YES to yourself. Choose the basic $15 car wash.

Imagine the possibilities….

(c) Carol C. Chanel

Think we have a severe economic recession in the United States today, right? Or, at least, that the magnitude of the apparent severe unemployment situation that we have today, is such that you probably can’t find any significant job openings existing just about anywhere in America today, and that there simply aren’t any employer today who is making any significant hiring of new workers, right?

Well, think again!

Oh, I know. There’s this virtual avalanche of grim economic news flooding Americans even by the minute these days out of Washington, telling about growing business and industry shut downs, worker lay offs and rising unemployment. And sure, it’s real. But, this is probably the biggest job-related secret in America today, the common, conventional thinking of general joblessness in America today. Actually, the plain FACT is that there are, in fact, plenty of Federal government job hiring going on right now, and plenty of job openings available around the clock right this minute, and you’d just need the \”informed tricks\” that’ are required for it, and you’d be able to properly job search for and dig out those Federal job openings, then properly apply for them and get one of them.

Point is, what we actually have here in the American job market today, is a diminution, or, if you will, a shrinkage in certain types of jobs. But there is no overall shortage of jobs, no complete dry-up of employment or employment opportunities in the totality of the American economy. Particularly, there is our own Federal Government of the United States. It has large job openings right now and continues to hire new workers in large numbers all along even as we speak right now. And, will not only continue to have need for new workers, and to hire sizable numbers of them in the months ahead, but in numbers even higher and larger.

In deed, several studies by respectable labor and manpower economists and experts, including a recent report by experts (http://www.cnbc.com/id/28948055; http://news.aol.com/article/despite-layoffs-federal-work-force-is/324326?cid=9), released in January 2009 by the White House Council of Economic Advisers, have amply projected that a large number of jobs are to be created by the Federal Government in this 2009 year, and beyond. For example, this latest study estimates that, just based on a $600 billion economic stimulus package by the new Obama administration (a higher amount of some $800-900 billion is what is currently being discussed), about 244,000 newly created government jobs at Federal, state and local levels, are to be expected by that measure alone.

In deed, this is actually totally in keeping with the expected Federal government role in times of unusually hard economic times or crises such as we have today. At such times, the Federal Government is expected and anticipated to have an even higher job-creation and worker and labor hiring load than usual, for one fundamental reason, which is simply that such a role is, in fact, the natural, responsible role meant for the Federal government to play. The Federal Government just has to step in, in such a dire national economic time (the kind we seem to have right now), and play the role of a stabilizer.\” In fact, the notion has become the common thinking among labor management experts and economists today, that in unusually severe economic times such as today when general employment continues to dwindle, and when major American employers (Microsoft corp., Pfizer, Caterpillar, Home Deport, and the Wall Street, to name just a few) are massively laying off workers, it becomes therefore the \”natural, built-in\” role of the Federal government to step in and try to pick up the employment slack by stepping up worker hiring, not lessening it.

THE CENTRAL QUESTION: Given the FACT, solidly established, that the Federal government has an abundance of job openings available, and is poised for even higher levels of new worker hiring in the near future, if you are a job seeker who is serious about securing a job with the Federal Government, what would you need to do to secure one of these Federal jobs? Essentially, what and what to do, fundamentally lies in the serious job-seeker making certain to have the vital knowledge, information and skill, to be able to properly job search for where the jobs actually are (in terms of the specific agencies of the Federal government having them, as well as their geographic locations across the country), and to uncover them; and having located those jobs, the other critical necessity is that the job-seeker has got to be able to know how exactly to properly apply for them in a way that will meet the special Federal job standards, and thereby result in his or her landing the priced Federal job.

The question, in short, will really boil down to this: which and which ones among the American jobless or those who want jobs, will be equipped enough and informed enough to be able to take proper advantage of these real, existing ‘recession proof’ Federal job openings, and therefore be able to walk away with those jobs for which they’re qualified?

GETTING FEDERAL EMPLOYMENT IN THE MIDST OF SEVERE UNEMPLOYMENT CLIMATE!?

Here, in a nutshell, are some of the major things that my own new publication, published by the Self-Helper Law Press of America, titled The Handbook of Federal Jobs: How to Job Search for, Apply for and Get Federal Job (www.GetFederalJobNow.com), provides you, as it methodologically guides the reader, in a simple, step-by-step outline, through a maze of the entire Federal job hiring process:

information on the present and projected civilian job openings and career opportunities that are continually available in the federal government;

the present as well as the projected future areas of Federal job growth and openings, and where exactly those jobs are or will be in the future (in terms of the particular government agencies that are applicable, as well as the jobs’ geographic locations);

how to search for them and to find them, how to understudy precisely the actual core qualifications required for the job, and to \”decode\” them;

how to properly apply for the jobs using precisely the appropriate Federal-style procedures and standards (including the Federal-style job interviewing, job resume and KSA writing standards), and

how to successfully process your job application, from the very start to the end, in such a way as to win the Federal hiring officer’s nod for the job, etc.

IN SUM: \”Just arm yourself with a copy of this Handbook,\” chimed Dan Benjamin, the Sales Manager of the book’s publisher, \”and you’ll see yourself go quickly, from the ranks of the despairing long lasting unemployed, to the ranks of the happy newly Federally employed.\”

In this ground-breaking Federal job-hunting Handbook, the Publishers of this Handbook have become even more encouraged and more emboldened by one major, new, unique development that was not earlier unanticipated but which busted lately on the American economic scene, to make an even better and more compelling case for why it’s now almost like a dire necessity of life for any serious Federal job hunter today to hurry and grab a copy of the book: the new Obama Presidency! The projected infusion of humongous sums into the economy out of the Obama economic stimulus program, some one trillion dollars or so of it, will clearly mean far more big-government programs and initiatives, and, hence, the creation of a lot more new government jobs across the board in the months ahead. And, even more so, still more new Federal government civil service jobs and new federal hires to be had!

Those are the virtually GUARANTEED new Federal job opportunities that are either already here, or are soon to come! Again, which American jobless or job-seekers would have been properly equipped, informed, and adequately prepared, to take proper advantage of these opportunities? That’s the central question! Having in hand this prime essential tool you’d need for it (a copy of The FEDERAL JOBS HANDBOOK), according to author Anosike, will assure precisely that you’d be up to that challenge - an the tremendous opportunity to become a prized Federal employee.

It’s a dog pile of bad news - plants closing, banks foreclosing, thousands more out of work just today. If you’re somewhere in the middle of that pile, you already know that \”recession\” has a human face. Maybe you’ve got a resume, but it’s getting you nowhere. Or maybe you haven’t yet started to work on that resume, and you’re wondering how to make it the best it can be. It’s got to be the best it can be - competition demands it.

What About Resume Software?

A resume builder (i.e., resume software) is an interactive tool to help you craft your own resume. Some you buy off the shelf at your office supply superstore. Others are downloadable straight from the internet - and available to use within minutes.

There’s Good News, And There’s Bad News

The good news is that many of them work well, quite well. Of these, if you can compose a straightforward sentence and follow step-by-step instructions, you can create a resume to be proud of. The bad news is that a lot of these resume builders are junk. Here are 3 things to keep in mind when looking for a product that will deliver real value.

1) Relevant Bells And Whistles

There are a lot of bells and whistles out there, with each product trying to distinguish itself in the marketplace. The question is, what is relevant? Some are obvious. Help with phrasing is relevant. Spell check is relevant. A list of action verbs is relevant. The ability to work up a companion cover letter is relevant. One company’s online resume builder displays thumbnails of all the resumes you’ve created, organized by the modification date. And it keeps track of which companies you’ve submitted to, and which resume version each received. Those little extras become more and more valuable the longer your job search.

2) Formatting Options

MS Word remains the standard format for resumes. But a resume formatted in MS Word won’t always cut it. For example, if you plan to post your resume to an online job site, you’ll likely need that resume formatted in ASCII text. If an employer requests a resume as a PDF attachment to an email, clearly you’ll have to be able to accommodate. So give extra points to the resume builder that offers or facilitates formatting in ASCII text, PDF, HTML, and RTF.

3) Ease Of Use

Often you can’t tell how easy a product is to use until you use it - then it’s too late to discover it’s no good. You can get an idea, though, with a bit of study. For those companies offering online resume builders, visit their websites and see that they navigate smoothly, that key information is readily available and well organized. Odds are their builders will be likewise well organized and easy to use. At least one company I reviewed lets you build your resume before paying for it; you can study the finished product from every angle before deciding if it’s worth the money.

Final Thoughts…

Can resume software make a difference? It can. Keep in mind that it won’t write the resume for you. Still, a good resume builder can do the heavy lifting of template design, layout and organization, formatting, help with phrasing, and error checking. And that might be just enough to fight your way out of the dog pile.

Make no mistake about it…

Employers look for employees because they have a NEED. Don’t mistake that the interview is about you — it is really about their NEED. You need to sell yourself as the right person to satisfy that need by carefully formulating your interview answers.

Sure, you may have great experience, but WHAT’S IN IT FOR THEM? Managers hire people in order to make their own job easier. How are you going to make the Hiring Manager’s job easier? How are you going to make the Hiring Manager look good in THEIR boss’s eyes?

You need to make your skills, experience, and education relevant to THEM and their needs, goals, and situation. After every statement you make to the Hiring Manager, you need to at least mentally add \” … and this will make your job easier because …\” or \” … and this will make you look good because …\” Imagine the Hiring Manager asking \”… so how would that benefit me and my needs?\” Make your answers and examples relevant to THEIR needs and communicate how hiring you will benefit THEM as well as the company.

If Managers hire based on their needs, then you are going to have to uncover and reveal their needs in order to come up with answers that will get your hired. Remember that every time a hiring manager asks you a question, YOU HAVE EARNED THE RIGHT TO ASK A QUESTION OF YOUR OWN. Questions are a great follow up to a winning answer.

Early on in the job interview you should use your own questions to uncover the hidden needs of the Hiring Manager so that you can tailor your interview answers and attitude to show that you understand their needs and that YOU are exactly the perfect person to solve those needs.

Each interviewer will have his or her own hidden needs depending on their roll. For example, a person in HR will want to be convinced that you understand the corporate culture, you will fit in with the company, you will get along with everyone, you will not show any disruptive behavioral or ethical problems, and that you will generally be easy to deal with. A person at the VP level will want to know that you are going to be an asset to his or her department and reflect well on him or her. The Hiring Manager will want to be assured that you will be dependable and that you are completely capable of doing what it takes to be successful at the position you are being interviewed for. Tailor your interview answers to \”spin\” towards what the interviewer wants to hear.

Remember that the Hiring Manager in particular will want to hire someone that:

1) they like, and are likable,

2) will make their job easier, and

3) will make them look good.

Each interviewer will also have their own set of hidden needs. Use the following question early on in the interview to uncover hidden needs so you can frame your answers to speak to those needs:

\”What could the ideal candidate do to make your job easier?\”

\”What would be the most important ability for a person to have in order to succeed in this position?\”

\”What are the most important short term goals for this department? What are the most important long term goals?\”

\”What are your formal goals as a manager? What kind of challenges are you facing in meeting these goals?\”

\”How is your success and the success of your department measured?\”

\”What does your boss expect of you and your team in terms of performance? What really makes your boss happy?

\”What qualities are you looking for in the right person for this position?\”

\”What kind of qualities and skills would it take to really succeed and make a difference at this position?\”

\”What would be the top priority of the person who accepts this job?\”

\”Can you describe a typical day for someone in this position?\”

\”What are the day-to-day expectations and responsibilities of this job? What would make that person a superstar?\”

\”What kinds of challenges are you currently facing in your department? How tough a position does this put you in? What would solve this problem for you?\”

Use these questions, listen carefully, formulate your answer in your head before you speak and your interview answers will be exactly what they want to hear. You will be much more likely to get the job. Be confident, be sensitive to their hidden needs, stick to your guns, and go for it!

Mentoring is a relationship that is established with someone who is an expert in their field. The mentor is usually older and more experienced than the mentee. The mentor shares their experiences, and the lessons they have learned. But the relationship benefits both the mentor and the mentee. The mentor benefits from the opportunity to strengthen their leadership skills. The mentee receives career guidance and helpful career advice to prepare for the next level in their career.

Many companies have formal mentoring programs in place for matching new employees with those already established in their career. If you are choosing your own mentors here are five tips to ensure a successful relationship:

1. A good career mentor:

Is knowledgeable in their field

Is generous and honest with advice

Is a good communicator

Is committed to the relationship

Will get to know their mentee: her/his capabilities, interests and goals

Will make recommendations for the mentee’s career development and path

Will create learning opportunities and heighten the mentee’s career

Will introduce the mentee to key people and professional organizations

2. Choosing a career mentor:

Choose someone you admire

Look outside your immediate work area

maybe your boss’s boss.

Choose someone in another area of your organization who has had a career path similar to your goal.

Find multiple mentors (I have clients working with more than one mentor in a formal relationship).

To find a career mentor outside of your organization, join professional associations where you can meet senior people and executives in your field.

3. Setting up the Mentor/Mentee Relationship:

Before seeking a mentor’s assistance, make a plan. What do you expect from your mentor? What do you want to focus on? How much time do want to commit to this relationship? It is important for you to be clear about your expectations for your own benefit and in order to communicate this to your potential mentor.

Invite the potential mentor to lunch or coffee to discuss your intention. Mentors appreciate the recognition, and are willing to share their knowledge and wisdom.

At the meeting, effectively communicate your need for a mentor, your vision of the future. Define the relationship and why you would like this person to be your career mentor.

Find out how involved the potential mentor wants to be in this relationship.

Give them a chance to think about it

tell them you will get back to them in a couple of days.

4. The Relationship:

Set up the parameters of the relationship together, how often, when and where you will meet, and the length of the meeting.

Respect your mentor’s time. Show up on time for your meetings. If you have to cancel your meeting, give at least 24 hours notice.

Set up boundaries for phone calls. Between meetings call only if absolutely necessary.

Use your scheduled meetings effectively by organizing your materials and the topics you would like to discuss.

Pay for your own meals and drinks or offer to pick up the tab for your mentor’s meal.

If you are given an assignment, complete it on time.

Show your appreciation by offering to help your mentor in any way possible. Send a thank-you e-mail communicating how this relationship has helped you or send a gift to recognize a special day for your mentor.

Recognize when the relationship is winding down, communicate this, and wrap it up. If you would like to stay in touch with occasional updates of your career successes, clear it with your mentor at the end of the relationship.

Obtain approval from your mentor before using them as a reference.

There are many benefits to a career mentorship, for both parties. Mentees gain the benefit of someone’s experience to help them navigate their career development. Mentors have the opportunity to reflect on their careers. Having clear goals and communicating these will ensure that the experience is positive and productive.

Our unstable economy has made the workplace more competitive than ever. Financial services firms, retailers, and even your neighborhood Starbuck’s are feeling the crunch. You can increase the likelihood of not just surviving in this economy, but thriving by being the kind of employee who adds value. Try following these ten simple steps to increase the likelihood of being bullet proof:

1. Make it easy to give you feedback by regularly asking what you can do “more of” or “less of” to better meet the boss’s expectations.

2. When you are given feedback, don’t rebut it or argue with it. Simply listen, thank the boss for taking the time to give it to you and promise that you will take it seriously. Then act in ways that show you got the message.

3. Learn the boss’s primary objectives and develop your own goals around those. Be certain to illuminate how your actions are in sync with his or hers. Making the boss look good makes you look good.

4. Don’t cry on the boss’s shoulder. Even though some appear very kind and understanding, bosses really don’t want to play the role of psychologist. If you do break down in front of the boss, excuse yourself and do your boo-hooing in private.

5. Never try to change the boss. It’s not your job. You can (and should) ask for what you need to be effective (more time together, more feedback, etc.) but whether or not you get it is entirely up to the boss.

6. Distinguish your boss from your parents, husband or other meaningful people in your life. Many times women react to the boss as they might to a parent because the boss is an authority figure of sorts. This can result in you misinterpreting the boss’s behavior or comments.

7. See your boss as a human being, not a one-dimensional entity. The boss is bound to make mistakes, let you down, and have his or her own problems too. This economy is making everyone jittery. Don’t put bosses on a pedestal — they’ll always tumble off. Be as forgiving as you would want the boss to be with you.

8. Deliver more than you promise. Make certain you meet or beat deadlines, submit work free from errors, and go the extra mile to interpret data, not just report it.

9. Avoid being a “high maintenance” employee. Too many complaints, too many challenges, or being too needy will put you in this category. As one CEO said, “I like it when people push once and push twice. Three times is too many.”

10. If you’ve done all the things described above and you still don’t trust your boss, if the boss is making your life miserable, or if it’s clear your boss doesn’t trust you, you have only three options: wait the boss out until a new one comes in; transfer to another department within your company; quit. It’s that simple.

Are you miserable at work? Well, you’re not alone. According to a 2007 survey conducted by The Conference Board, less than half of all Americans are happy with their jobs. For young adults below the age of 25, the numbers are even more striking: only two out of five people in this age group are satisfied with their careers.

Like it or not, you spend 40 hours a week or more at work. Most people see those 40 hours of misery each week as just another fact of life. But what if you could change it? What if you could do something else, something you actually wanted to do? Even though it may seem like you’re stuck right now, you’re not. By using an organized process of setting goals, identifying what you need to accomplish to meet those goals, and acting on your objectives, you can break free from your current job and land the job of your dreams.

Things You Like

First, you need to figure out what you want to be doing instead of your current job. Obviously, your dream job is going to be something that you enjoy. You may think that getting paid to do something you enjoy is impossible, but in reality almost anyone can find a career that they like if they look hard enough. In fact, you’re much more likely to be successful if you enjoy your work.

The easiest way to pinpoint your dream job is to use visual aids, like a list or a mind map (goal mapping software is a great option). It doesn’t matter whether you use a pen and paper or a computer program - getting everything written down where you can see it will help you get a clear picture of your job goal and what you need to do to get there. So, start by listing the things you like to do. What interests you? What do you do in your spare time? What is your passion?

Your Skills

Next, you need to identify your skills, the things that you’re good at. Are you a whiz at math? Are you the person people call when their computer breaks down? Everyone has their own personal skill set. Start thinking about the things you do well and make a list. Don’t forget to include skills that you’ve developed in your current career. However, don’t limit yourself only to skills that you have formal training in, either.

Once you have a list of skills, try to identify which of the skills on the list you are best at. If you’d like, you can assign each skill a number, using \”1\” for your strongest skill and going from there. Now that you’ve identified what you like to do and what your strongest skills are, look over the two lists to see if there’s any correlation. Then, find a job that involves doing something you like using the skills you are strongest in.

If you’re stuck, the U.S. Department of Labor’s Occupational Outlook Handbook can help you get a sense of what’s out there. A job that you enjoy doing that capitalizes on your natural talents - now doesn’t that sound like a dream job to you?

Specialize

Now that you’ve identified your dream job, what do you need to do to get there? It’s time to start identifying the objectives you need to accomplish to achieve your goal. Most careers require a specialized skill set.

Even though you should have the basic skills and aptitudes to be successful in your dream job, chances are that you don’t yet have the specialized knowledge that the field requires. So, think about what you need to do to get that knowledge. Do you need to go back to school? Do you need to attend a training seminar and get a certification?

The first objectives you set will be related to obtaining the training and skills you need to succeed in your dream career. This is where getting your dream job can start getting stressful, because it takes real effort to learn additional skills when you are already working a full-time job. However, if you stick to your guns, you will eventually be rewarded.

Make a list of what you need to do to get those specialized skills, and start creating objectives and deadlines for yourself. For example, let’s say you’ve decided your dream job is to be a pilot. Here’s what a list of objectives might look like:

Save money for flight school/investigate financial aid options: within the next six months.

Enroll in flight school: within the next year.

Apply for pilot’s license: within the next year and a half.

If you identify what you need to do to become qualified for your dream job, break it down into a number of smaller tasks, set deadlines to complete these tasks, and follow through, then sooner or later you’ll be ready to take the next step forward.

Create a Proven Record

The next set of objectives involves creating a convincing r